As we all steadily walk the path of life, every now and again we are expected to make a decision which could affect the rest of our lives.
This could be love, life, work or with friends or acquaintances, either way, the effect and the result is often the same.
Blind and with no sense of the consequences, and yet more often than not, we do so risking it all on a hunch, a guess, a leap of faith.
Sometimes not even that, just the blind expectation that things will always work out for the best, or sometimes by simply refusing the temptation because too many things fall into question.
The older we get the harder it becomes, and for those who have had their trust previously torn from them, ‘trust’ soon becomes the monkey on our back. Not content with out own monkey, sometimes other people bring their own and expect us to mind it for them too, often unaware of their contribution to the problem as they merrily go about their way.
Apart from hindsight, experience and wishful thinking, there is little to guide us when we try and form an educated decision on such matters, and even then it can just as easily be based on a lie, yours or theirs.
The ‘trust’ many of us hope for comes at a price, it needs to be earned and not taken for granted, respected and held dear to those we care for otherwise it counts for nothing and becomes anther victim in yet another failed episode of life.
Far too many people assume that by declaring their honourable intentions, it makes them honourable. If only it were that easy.
I can just as easily declare myself the King of England but it doesn’t make it so. Sure, to the unknowing, I could be King for a day, maybe even a week or a year, however long it took before the illusion came crashing down, and so is the same of trust.
Just by merely suggesting that you are to be trusted doesn’t make it so either, far from it. A complete lack of effort to do anything else than just clinging to your own self righteous beliefs doesn’t help anyone either, and if anything it only undervalues what respect you lost in the assumption in the first place.
Those that cling to this idea often then destroy any credence by then behaving in a manner which leads to the assumption that they can’t be trusted, many which then turn it against you after your belief in them has already faded as they then seek to channel their own failings on yourself.
Maturity and the awareness of others is something that comes from being aware of the other half in a relationship rather than just the self, and something that many fail to address when seeking to the collective unity in a relationship whilst still adhering to the single life.
Compromise, understanding and inclusion are simple things that help people build trust without having to sacrifice the things they do individually. Excluding and expecting people to put up with never knowing anything about a large part of their lives only helps destroy anything people aim to build together in the first place.
I can’t even remember a time where I trusted people without question, if it ever did exist, it sure as hell was a long time ago…
People, life, experiences, both bitter sweet all play apart in deciding what criteria we must put in place to try and protect ourselves from the same tragedy which may have befallen us previously. We all do it, some more than others and yet some are less inclined to have to worry about it as they work to their own singular mindset, often freeing themselves of the emotional attachment in the first place and therefore making themselves less likely to get hurt as they transfer the problem onto others.
At my tender age in life and after all I’ve been through, I personally have had enough of having to worry about trusting someone, if they can’t be bothered to make me feel like I can trust them, then they probably aren’t worth trusting in the first place.
If they can’t make the simple effort to include me in their world enough to reassure me when they do and act in ways which to most people do require trust to be earned and respected, then why bother, lose the worry and lose the problem and don’t suffer the emotional battle which follows every time you’re expected to trust someone who gives you no reason to.
It doesn’t take much effort if you actually care for someone, less still if you value and respect them and yet some still feel like they can live their own life regardless of your feelings and how their behaviour affects you.
It’s one thing to be trusted, it’s another to deserve it. Just assuming that you are trustworthy and up to no good doesn’t exempt you from behaviour and conditions which by circumstance or default lead to doubt alone.
It’s common sense, do unto others as you wish to be done to you, and yet still in this day and age people stumble around, blind to the misery they dump on others in the hope of themselves hoping happiness and having the same peace of mind themselves.
Trust is sacred, as is love and you can’t have one without the other.