Is ‘Romance’ dead?
Well, who knows…
What I do know though is you’re asking the wrong guy.
I have an alibi, a lawyer and depending on how many witnesses you need, I got them too…
Occasionally life and the wondrous elements contained within it materialise and ask these things of us when we least expect it.
So, what is Love, Romance, Romanticism?
Words, all we have are words. Expressions, feelings, emotions and everything else, deeply unique and individual as the person, but still, reduced to just words.
Sometimes we try to share these with others, sum them up, clarify or present them as information, a means to enlighten or intrigue, captivate or entice, or sometimes to familiarise others to our ‘being’.
Society has indeed evolved, Religion has shaped our landscape and people for centuries have tried to label, categorise and associate everything into an identifiable context so that we can all try to understand what one thing or another means.
We are no different for having learn’t from those before us, in School, College University or life itself, family and friends being probably our closest influences and so with all of these factors can’t help but have elements of the conventional norm passed onto us.
I myself have always tried to steer clear of convention, the rules, the rights and the wrongs and chosen to try to be as free spirited in the manner to which I am influenced or driven to do something in my life.
Romance, love, marriage all fall into peoples expectations and the ones placed upon us by whatever it is that we subscribe to or subconsciously fall victim to, be it willing, passive or neutrally coherent to it’s presence or not.
I believe people themselves can be ultimately responsible for whether Romanticism ruined love or not. For what is love? What is Romanticism anyway?
Words. Just words. Words that in fact have been given us by others, unaware to our individual state of mind, our personality, our experiences and our own interpretation of what words we chose to digest as we walk the walk of life.
No one can define what love is apart from the individual. If they choose to call it ‘Love’, ‘Fred’ or a ‘Cucumber’, then it’s still only a word which to others may or may not have any relevance at all to it’s meaning or not.
What people chose to look for can easily be exposed to predetermined societal influence depending upon the person, some enjoy the whole stereotypical marketing of an idea, others resist and seek their own interpretation, and some choose to ignore social convention and marry a tree.
What people feel when they are drawn to someone they feel a connection with is to me the beauty in life. It’s is never the same, ever. For the person, nor for others. Two factors, multiplied by two lives multiplied by two worlds makes the infinite nature of the experience a ‘one off’.
Few times ever in life can this be said with such truth behind a saying.
I believe people should be open with each other to remove hidden expectation, clear to their goals with each other and acute with their feelings and emotions, allowing for both sides to have a much better and free way forward with each other. What life then presents and what people chose to follow is similarly down to circumstances, decisions and the wants and needs of those in union.
We use the words ‘Romance’ and ‘Love’ because they have been provided for us to identify and hopefully pass on the strength of emotions to others in the hope they understand our feelings when we talk about the madness of the heart and mind when we meet someone who affects us or allows us to be ‘distracted’ from our regular life so easily.
Those like myself who are ‘old fashioned’, caught up in a loving idea of what can or should be done to show our love tend to use ‘Romantic’ in the hope others know we are more emotionally or spiritually open to giving and recieving time, spirit or presence with the other when in fact it’s not always ‘hollywood’ ideas but personal experience, belief or just our own ‘feelgood’ factor trying to come out towards the one we do indeed ‘Love’.
Whether it is received kindly or not we never know, and rarely will anyway unless it’s the ‘cliche’ approach to what has been done or said. Truth is, to me it’s a personal experience we share, often allowing ourselves to enjoy the moment just as much as the other.
Marriage, unity and everything associated with the divine or Religious aspect of what two people should do is another thing all together.
In this day and age it shouldn’t matter what we do or say, how we act and whether or not we go to church to express our undying love to the heavens in the hope that the same God who watches children starve to death and people kill for fun, blesses us as we take our newly appointed vows.
But some do…
Experience plays apart in how we deal with this, our parents, our friends and even sometimes our status leading us like sheep towards a goal we never created ourselves.
I believe that sometimes as a traditionalist, it’s nice to have this part of our lives influenced in this way, sometimes for ourselves, sometimes for children or our families, but intuitively, I think it’s just nice for people to do what they collectively feel enhances their time together.
I personally write songs and play guitar as some of you may know.
I taught myself, I write my own material and I care little for if it’s the accepted way of playing or writing songs or music, I care even less if others like it and I do if for my love of music, for my inner peace and for the blessed skill I found I had, and at times because I’m inspired or in need of some personal therapy which comes through this action.
This is very much the same as when I believe I feel ‘Love’ or what I approximate it to be. The same as when I do anything else.
I believe you could go through life and take on board nothing from the world, people or society and two people who come into each others lives, who share the same emotions and feelings would ultimately behave and want more of whatever it is they want to call the thing between them without intervention.
Not everyone will, but this is the individual nature of loving collectively.
People should share their feelings, emotions, experiences and everything between them if they chose to follow their hearts as it is only then that anyone can truly appreciate and experience a full understanding of what they could have together, otherwise, don’t bother, call it something else and be just as happy, but to me the idea, the hope and the presence of feelings beyond words shared at the most unexpected of times in our lives should be truly embraced as we can never know when they may appear.
If some chose not to follow this concept, then that is their right.
We don’t make the rules, I scarcely follow them anyway when it comes to doing what you believe is right, and if I’m honest so should everyone…
If what they believe is ‘right’ is wrong, then assuming it’s not hurting anyone then the world will keep on spinning. If what they chose to do is wrong, then they won’t be able to do it for much longer…
I believe in a dream, whatever it is, but special all the same.
Unconditional, adaptive, supportive, passionate, physical, emotional and spiritual to the person. Only life defines what we have to do to maintain this, and only effort rewards those who actually do what they commit to saying.
Far too may people are single, hurt, and emotionally crippled by bad experiences when they forgot to work at it, to heal, or to allow it to happen fully in the first place.
Life is a series of distractions that we all have to overcome if we are to keep what we want to keep, what we long to have and what we desire to happen within our lifetime.
It’s how carefully we chose to pursue this which in my humble opinion defines whether or not Romanticism ruins anything…
It’s just a word, one we chose to allow to say one thing as we do all the others.
What we believe in, fight for and long for in life shouldn’t need to be defined, it should be set free within ourselves and held close while it burns bright.